In my on-going search for employment it has become necessary to enlist the help of certain professionals who know how to traverse the corridors of power. Job hunting in the current business world is not unlike
Odyssèus and his quest to get home - you're marooned on
Kālypsō (the island of unemployment); it takes a long time (hopefully slightly less than ten years); you have to fight the
Gorgon (Human Resources) who strikes fear in all who gaze upon it; and finally, after a lot of trouble, you get an audience with
Penélopê (the Hiring Manager). Then you wreck bloody vengeance on all the other suitors. So, I have found my very own
Eumaeus - a person who knows how to write
magic job descriptions that grab bureaucrats and shake them like a triple-shot espresso mochachino. I feel like I am walking around with the 800 lb. gorilla - this new resume is going to kick down doors and take names (I dare not unleash it on just any company). And what will be the first thing I do when I get a job? Put my red Swingline stapler on my desk and soak up the envious stares of my new co-workers.
In my on-going search for employment it has become necessary to enlist the help of certain professionals who know how to traverse the corridors of power. Job hunting in the current business world is not unlike Odyssèus and his quest to get home - you're marooned on Kālypsō (the island of unemployment); it takes a long time (hopefully slightly less than ten years); you have to fight the Gorgon (Human Resources) who strikes fear in all who gaze upon it; and finally, after a lot of trouble, you get an audience with Penélopê (the Hiring Manager). Then you wreck bloody vengeance on all the other suitors. So, I have found my very own Eumaeus - a person who knows how to write magic job descriptions that grab bureaucrats and shake them like a triple-shot espresso mochachino. I feel like I am walking around with the 800 lb. gorilla - this new resume is going to kick down doors and take names (I dare not unleash it on just any company). And what will be the first thing I do when I get a job? Put my red Swingline stapler on my desk and soak up the envious stares of my new co-workers.
5 comments:
Thank you - yeah, Oedipus Rex can be rather painful to watch... Whenever I feel down about employment (or the lack thereof), Office Space helps keep a smile on my face (and I DO own a red Swingline stapler - one of my good friends gave it to me for Christmas!).
Yes, Panda-shaped office supplies have a certain cache. I briefly was an office manager, and I got to order our school's office supplies (it was like being Santa when I got to distribute stuff to the staff).
I have not seen these new staple-free staplers (hmmm... sounds iconoclastic). Do they fuse the paper using hypersonic welding technology? Or is it like those rip-n-fold movements that we used to do in kindergarten?
Too cool! Now I want to get one of those nano-tech non-staple staplers (while still keeping my red Swingline for more traditional paper-attaching tasks). And they come in Panda flavour, you say?
Here it is! The Panda Paper StitchLock, the creme de la creme of the stationary world, and from Japan of all places. Sign me up for six...
Alex! Most excellent - put me in for one of those Panda StichLocks (because, as David Brent says: "...I'm doing my own stapling.").
Great to see you again amongst the electrons of my humble blogging abode - welcome back!
BTW: I have been very impressed by the nature pics on your blog (it is becoming the National Geographic of our little triumverate - with Kit Ten providing the graphic arts and myself bringing a modest bit of pathos to the Internet). All Hail the Mighty Triumverate! I think I will post a pic of this new paper-attaching technology...
How are things on your mountain? Has the snow finally melted? How are your new tree/bushes doing? Any fruit yet?
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